Icelandic meltdown

Being a long-term investor myself, I parted with some of the Hazell hundreds (if I had millions I would not be writing this column) when the market crashed at the start of the month. I have bought the FTSE at around the 4000 level and the S&P500. I’m sure there will be plenty more volatility over the coming weeks and months, but I have a feeling that if I don't buy now I will look back in four of five years and feel I have missed a great opportunity.

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Calling HSBC long distance

I have just spent 10 extremely painful minutes on the phone with HSBC. I have a credit card where the interest free period is about to expire so all I wanted to do was change from paying the minimum by direct debit to the maximum.

So I dialled the number which, of course, took me to an overseas call centre. I then attempted to have a conversation with someone who sounded as if they were at the other end of a very long cardboard tube.

Within the first two minutes I was in deep trouble. 'What are the first and third letters of your security number?' she asked.

What security number? She informed me that I had set one up when I started using the card.

I explained that since taking out the card I had never seen the need to phone the bank – and I had no idea what number I might have given.

So after confirming I am really me, I was put through to a machine which instructed me to set up another number, which I instantly committed to my mental rubbish bin.

Eventually I was allowed to change my direct debit. My one consolation is that I did not boost HSBC's profits by using its 0845 number because I had picked up an alternative on the useful saynoto0870 website.

Email:t.hazell@gmail.com