Why? Well I believe these are trending towards an economic cause-and-effect scenario that could, quite literally, lead to a complete removal of Greece from the Eurozone, the loss of jobs in France and make the latest round of quantitative easing completely ineffective.

Let me explain.

Firstly, the paucity of internet signal to my nearly-new router has hindered my ability to use the internet at home for more than 15 minutes a pop.

This has led to increased tension on my part, and ‘commercial break’ time from my freelance work.

This free time has caused me to raid my cupboards for anything largely fattening.

Regular readers of my blog will know I store food and have done so since the credit crunch. This is a peculiar ‘Doomsday Currency’ trait I have, as I am sure that tins of chickpeas will be the main currency when everything goes to hell in a shopping-cart. That and ammunition.

However, my internet failure means I had eaten everything except for the ammo, of course, and boxes of Greek cookies, Melomakarona and other goodies that my boyfriends’ parents sent us from Athens.

By cracking open these honeyed treats (the food, not the parents) I am now developing an insatiable appetite for Greek treats.

By being unable to get these in Streatham, I am trying to get them sent over from Greece.

This will put too much strain on the already-understaffed Greek postal service.

This will result in what’s left of the workforce going on strike, which will cause the airlines and other transportation agencies to go under.

When they fall, the French banks that have tied up a lot of money in bonds issued by the Greek government on behalf of aforementioned nationalised agencies, will find their money has disappeared.

Alors! Zut! Bof! (and similar francophone epithets). This will see French bankers mass en masse to the river Seine, where they will smoke themselves into a stupor while being filmed in 55mm black-and-white.

Jobs will go (except perhaps in French tobacconists and film studioes noires). France will force Greece out of the Eurozone.

When France fails, Germany will force the UK to help out financially.

And that will cause any new round of QE to be completely ineffective.

Thanks, TalkTalk, for my poor internet connection. You have caused the complete breakdown of the European Union.