When my football favourites Norwich City were a third tier team in 1959 they had an epic FA Cup run taking them to a semi final replay.
The success attracted touts from London trying to flog over-priced tickets for a fifth round replay against Spurs.
The locals reacted by throwing the touts into the River Wensum, which runs close to the ground and railway station.
If only people today felt able to inflict such swift and appropriate retribution on con artists.
Wherever there exists a significant pot of money, sharks will circle in the hope of grabbing a bite from the weak or unwary.
British Steel workers and many others with decent retirement pots are the latest victims – but pensions mis-selling has been around for almost three decades.
What I find remarkable is that anyone is willing to risk a lifetime’s savings on a dodgy investment scheme or hand their money to a smooth-talking salesman.
What is it that persuades them that it could be a good idea to take a guaranteed retirement income and risk throwing it away in a gamble?
If someone stopped them in the street and asked for a tenner, promising to bring back £20 the next day, would they hand over their money? Of course not.
The Financial Conduct Authority has published a warning about free advice. But most investors wouldn’t work for nothing so why do they think that someone will offer impartial pension advice out of the goodness of their heart?
Do they think smart suits the sales people wear or the cars they drive have materialised from thin air?
It’s not fashionable to criticise those on the receiving end. And I don’t wish to underplay or trivialise the viciousness of the scams perpetuated on the vulnerable, elderly and many others.
Yet, whether it is drawing on pension money too quickly or handing it to the wrong person we seem to have a developed a degree of over-optimism or naivety that would surely shock our grandparents.
Perhaps if some of some of the pension sharks found themselves splashing in the River Taff on a cold winter day they and others would be less inclined to prey on investors.
Investing in life expectancy
Sometimes it is better to rely on the evidence of your eyes rather than statistics.
If you love Apple computers and iphones and so do millions of others so why aren’t you investing in the company?
Cigarette addiction has provided a reliable source of income to those who can stomach investments that kill.
So the recent life expectancy figures from the Office for National Statistics suggesting girls born in 50 years can expect to live to 90 while boys can expect to live to 87 led me to pondering.
Surely those stats hide a reality where some will live long active healthy lives while the rest will squeeze their fat-laden bodies into mobility scooters?
Take a look at today’s young. When I was in my early twenties most of us were of a fairly uniform size – moderately fit and rarely fat.
Now I see ever larger numbers of super-fit youngsters who appear to spend every spare minute at the gym as they hone their quads and pecs.
But out in the street they are balanced by just as many who seem to spend every spare minute with their hand in a bag of crisps as they work on their moobs and cankles.
So which should I invest in: gyms and fitness equipment or mobility scooters?
Certainly anything which supports those who have spent a lifetime expanding their flesh and raising their body mass index has potential as it is likely to be paid for by the NHS.
But if you back the fitness band then your investment is likely to live longer.
What I’m really looking for is for a fund manager to launch a fit and fat fund to dig out the best investments to benefit from our increasing life expectancies.
Giving money for Christmas
I’m looking at a pre-Christmas press release on giving money away highlighting the contrived limits inheritance tax limits put together decades ago.
Whenever anyone quizzes me on the subject I tell them the same thing: you can give away as much as you like and the taxman can’t touch it as long as you live for seven years.
Surely this is the best strategy as it not only potentially gets more money away from HMRC but also gives your children a fantastic reason to do all they can to ensure your survival.
Tony Hazell writes for the Daily Mail's Money Mail section
